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Amazon Drones: A Strange Look Into the Future…

December 2, 2013 at 8:45 pm

Well, I was checking Twitter this morning and saw the bizarre story about Amazon claiming it has the Technology ready to deliver parcels to e-Shoppers within 30 minutes of clicking ‘buy’. A few thoughts sprang to mind initially:

  1. If the delivery place is that close, open up one of those strange new-fangled things called a ‘Shop’. That way, customers will come to you, with money and they’ll buy things and take them home themselves. Genius!
  2. Are Amazon that desperate to increase their profits that they’ll do anything to get rid of the human element? I mean, drones can’t form a union or complain about working conditions?
  3. Well that was a stupid question.
  4. What else could drones do?

And it was a bit of a mixture of points 2 and 4 that led me down a metaphorical rabbit-hole, and deep into a dark, twisted and magical future world. Picture the scene: it’s 2017, you live in London (come on, as if this service would be available in the rural northern backwaters of say, Manchester), your local bookshop closed down three years ago, you need to buy a book, maybe a DVD and a Microwave. The problem is, you’ve just got home after a long, hard day at work, sat in front of the TV and watched an hour or so of adverts with the odd moment of your favourite drama interrupting them. You’ve gotten comfortable now and you don’t want to get up.

What do you do? Naturally, you summon your AmaDron 2000: “AmaDron. HERE!” All of a sudden, a  few beeps, a quiet whirring noise and the unmistakable sound of a lens focusing. The AmaDron levitates into the hair, re-adjusts it’s rotors and floats quietly towards you. The slim structure lands on your lap, carrying it’s precious cargo: the Amazon Kindle Fire 7.92.44. The latest in tablet technology with built in toothbrush and neural receptors, perfect for even the laziest of the lazy.

Of course, your Kindle Fire 7.92.44 boots itself up in milliseconds, brushes your teeth for you (why not?) and loads up your favourite app – AmaBrowze – which of course takes you to your default, and favouritist ever, web page: Amazon.com. The brightness of the screen perfectly contrasts with the darkness of the room – Amazon’s tech guys are yet to develop an app that interfaces with complex lightbulb technology – and your eyes light up. Kindle Fire 7.92.44 asks you: “What would you like to buy today?”

Of course, it’s a stupid question, AmaBrain has already tapped in to your Neural Receptors and knows that you want a Microwave, a book and a DVD. You’re still relatively new to AmaWorld, and are fairly resistant to the idea that AmaBrain has decided that books are no longer necessary, as the creativity and imagination needed to read and write prose is a distraction for the human brain. The human brain’s sole goal in life is to buy things, from Amazon.com. AmaBrain sends out an AmaJolt, a short, sharp burst of electricity which will eventually train your brain to realise that books are bad.

The DVD is no problem though, AmaBrain has decided that DVDs are like books but without the need for that pesky imagination or creativity that stops the human brain from achieving its ultimate goal. AmaBrain picks out a DVD for you. Something simple, that requires very little thought whatsoever but will placate your brain momentarily and at the same time make you want to buy more. What has it chosen? Mission Impossible 8: The Amazonian Quest, starring Tom Cruise, from the AmaFilm studios that brought you the successful Reboot – Home Alone 6: A Good Day to Buy. Yes, that will do.

Now, about the Microwave. AmaBrain has decided that while there’s nothing wrong with Microwaves, the problem is that Amazon doesn’t see them to be profitable enough so doesn’t manufacture them any more. What AmaBrain does instead, is order a month’s worth of AmaFood to be delivered fresh(ish) three times a day for just £1,000. “What a bargain!” AmaBrain tells you, and triggers a release of endorphins. “Woot for me!” you think. Sort of.

Half an hour later, and you hear the doorbell ring. It must be AmaPost! My DVD is finally here! Of course, in AmaWorld, the doorbell isn’t a request to enter, it’s more a courtesy. Don’t forget, you signed your house away to AmaHome after that AmaBrain glitch that caused you to gamble all your money away on AmaBet. AmaPost hovers in silently, places the DVD in your AmaPlay DVD player, hovers over to you, lowers your bowl of AmaGruel to your lips, tips your head back and pours the bowl down. AmaBrain tells you this tastes amazing, and releases yet more endorphins.

By now, you’re delirious with happiness. You love AmaBrain. So, so much. But what’s this? AmaBrain needs a software update. Time to sleep.

Strong on Benefits, Weak on Morals

November 27, 2013 at 8:56 pm

David Cameron said today was all about sending out a “clear message” to people that the UK is no longer a soft touch on benefits. He’s definitely sent out a clear signal, that is for sure. But is it the signal he intended?

The first signal to me is that he’s definitely basing his stance on anecdotal evidence at best, xenophobic ideology at worst. People? What people? British People? Foreign People? Polish People? Romanian People? Bulgarian People? Muslim People? White People?

Additionally, how much of a real concern is this ‘Benefit Tourism’ he’s targeting? Well, take a look at this article from the New Statesman for a clue: http://www.newstatesman.com/politics/2013/10/eu-study-shreds-myth-benefit-tourism - hint: not all that much of a concern at all.

So there are some really clear signals being sent out by Mr Cameron today, and a few cloudy ones too. It’s clear that he isn’t acting on evidence, more so on what the Daily Mail says but it’s unclear as to whether he’s stupid, evil, weak or a horrid combination of all three.

British politics really is at an all-time low at the moment, it’s at a point where national newspapers run by ideologically insane editors are dictating policy of not only government, but of the opposition too. When the Daily Mail says ‘Jump’, Cameron, Clegg and Miliband all compete to respond quickest and loudest:

HOW HIGH YOUR LORDSHIPS?’

Instead of challenging the Daily Mail on it’s overtly xenophobic, narrow-minded and almost colonialist views and ideologies the politicians of today hop on to a metaphorical surfboard and attempt to ride the false-waves of public opinion. They don’t seem to be taking the time or effort to look over their shoulder and see that these aren’t natural waves they’re riding, these are waves controlled by a small but powerful elite looking to guide our country backwards into the 19th Century.

Public Opinion may well be stacked in favour of limiting the number of Bulgarians or Romanians landing on our shores, but the problem with that public opinion is that it’s so hideously misinformed. The public are being lied to by the majority of our news outlets, with just a few baby turtles trying to swim against this tsunami of lies, exaggerations and fear-mongering propaganda that fills the pages of the largest, widest circulated newspapers.

The problem that people with brains, eyes, ears and a connection between them are facing at the moment is that we can see and hear exactly what is going on. We can see that this Conservative Government (sorry, but the Lib Dems really do offer nothing whatsoever) have declared war on welfare, whether it’s essential or not. They’ve targeted benefits as a real vote-winner, because they know that at this very minute, life for a lot of working people is pretty fucking shit. They know that wages are increasing at about 1-3% while the price of essential services and goods is going up anywhere between 5-30%.

They can see that a lot of working people are pretty damned unhappy, and they know that there’s a heck of a lot of working people out there that need a focal point to direct their anger at. Usually, that’d be the government. Usually, we’d be out in our droves protesting at how sickeningly feeble our government is in the face of big corporations but of course any government faces a bit of a dilemma. We need voters to vote, but we need Corporate money. We can’t allow them or us to be the focus of anger, what do we do?

The answer is obvious. Divert the anger elsewhere, on to a much more palatable target. Initially, it was ‘This mess the Labour Government left behind‘, but of course that could only ever work as a short-term fix. Soon enough, the scum of the electorate would cotton on to this and say: ‘Hey, what are you doing about it now? You’re in power here!’ So new (or old) targets were found or dusted off. The EU is an easy one, nobody like the EU. But for ‘Hardworking People’, what’ll really piss them off most?

People that don’t work.

Hence we’ve had a relentless anti-benefits campaign from this government, dividing the 99% up into various different factions to stop these factions from knocking their heads together and realising that the problem is stood in the corner wearing a blue tie, eating Foie Gras and drinking fine Champagne. Yes, benefit claimants are the problem. Make the working people think that benefit claimants live a life of luxury, can afford holidays and plasma screen TVs whilst us working families can’t even afford to buy Kingsmill bread, we have to buy Tesco’s own brand (which still costs a fucking pound!).

Make the working people hate the non-working people. Make the disabled prove that they’re disabled. Make people with a spare bedroom move to a smaller property or cut off some benefits (despite there being no smaller properties available), make benefits pay out monthly so these non-working lowlifes have to manage their money monthly, not weekly. Make it more fucking complicated for these cunts. Make them stop having children. Make them want to die. Make them kill themselves. As long as the hardworking people hate them and not us, we’ll win in 2015.

Thing is though, many people who are not working, are hardworking. They are looking for work, they are single mothers, single fathers, carers for the elderly, carers for the disabled, volunteers in their communities, unable to find a job as there aren’t any, being forced to work for Tesco for free etc etc. Of all the people claiming benefits, how many actually do so fraudulently? How many don’t deserve them? How many actually need them? How many go on holidays to Spain every year? We’re being fed the wrong answers to these.

The Hardworking people of Britain (whether in employment or not) need to wake up and see who the real enemy is, and that enemy lies within the M25 and takes on many forms, be it Newspaper Editors or Politicians. The enemy is looking you in the eye and lying to you. Then when you turn your back, they go back to their Champagne, Caviar and Foie Gras and joke amongst themselves about how much money they made on the NHS and Royal Mail sell-offs. They laugh at how much money they’re making from their second jobs working for companies that are benefiting from their corrupt policies.

So yes, this Conservative Government is ruling the benefits system with an iron fist, nobody can say they are weak on that any longer. But we can say they are weak on morals. And not just the government, but the media and the submissive opposition too. Just remember the next time you do your food shopping. Was it the  ’spiralling benefits’ bill or out of control immigration that caused it to be more expensive, or was it greasy politicians and greedy corporations?

If you think for even a millisecond that benefits or immigrants had anything to do with it, you need to look yourself in the mirror.

When The White Man Loses His Honey…

November 3, 2013 at 4:26 pm

…That’s when you know things have gone too far.

Richard Dawkins took to Twitter today, airing a complaint about his honey being confiscated from him by Airport security:

 

This instantly made me think of the old BBC show: ‘Grumpy Old Men’ where a cacophony of grumpy old men complain about the little things that make their lives an absolutely misery. Taken in isolation, having your honey taken away from you by a ‘jobsworth’ security guard at an airport is of course quite the irritation, particularly when one considers how many Nobel Prizes have been won by Security Guards. None. NONE!

Now I think Richard was trying (badly) to illuminate the point that airport security has gone too far, I mean how dangerous could a little pot of honey really be? How much honey would it take to hi-jack or blow up a plane after all? Of course, Richard’s arrogance knows no bounds, you see the rules are there for a reason and they are clear for all too see (even if you are a world-famous pompous prick). I wonder, if a man or woman of ‘Muslim appearance’ had his honey taken off him, would Richard be quite so irate? I doubt it.

His angry little tweet also gave me mental images of Osama bin Laden and his various deputies sat around a camp fire in the mountains of Tora Bora discussing their grand plan with a hint of Tony Montana:

 In this country, you gotta take the honey first. Then when you get the honey, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get the women.”

But on a slightly more serious note, before Richard takes the time out to complain about his honey-related injustices, perhaps he should take some time out to think of the lives of Muslims and people who ‘look like’ Muslims. Maybe he should consider the fact that Muslims can barely go anywhere without attracting distrusting glances at best through to being attacked at worst. If we want to fly, we are subjected to harsher, more humiliating questioning and experiences than anybody else.  We are all tarred by the Osama brush. Society has a deep-rooted, thinly-veiled hatred of Muslims. Hatred stirred up by a wide variety of public figures and organisations ranging from this Conservative government and the press through to Tommy Robinson and Mr Dawkins himself.

So when Mr Dawkins is subjected to a four hour interrogation at an airport  just for the colour of his skin, or for his beliefs then perhaps I may consider taking his complaint seriously. When he is stopped at a British airport and asked whether he is travelling with the Asian woman in front of him, to which he says ‘Yes’ and is then told to ‘follow me’ on that basis for a ‘random’ baggage check, he can come back and complain to me. Perhaps when he feels nervous about travelling alone for fear of racist attacks on him, then he can come back to me.

Until then:

Dawkins. Together We Can Find the Cure.”

Chinese Domination, Energy Price Rises & Teachers’ Strikes

October 17, 2013 at 5:59 pm

I’m no customer of British Gas, but if I were I’d be feeling all warm and fuzzy inside tonight. You see, even though they may have increased their dual fuel bills by a whopping 9.2% just in time for another harsh British Winter, at a time where families are struggling to ‘put food on the table’, they showed that there is a human element behind its vast corporate money-printing machine. Yes, here’s what they had to say about their price rises:

“We understand the frustration of prices rising faster than inflation.”

Do you? Do you really? Do you understand how difficult it will be for the average family to find an extra £123 per year in order to cook and store  food, clean clothes, bathe and turn on the lights? Do you understand that families already below the ‘breadline’ simply will not be able to find that extra money and will resort to Payday lenders or simply just not eat? Do you understand that the average worker receives a below inflation pay rise, so an above inflation pay rise is doubly crippling? Do you understand that this will result in unnecessary deaths again this winter?

The answer is a sad and resounding yes. Of course they understand. They know the impacts of their price rises, yet they don’t care. And that’s the problem, it’s not that these people fail to understand, it’s that they fail to give a shit. They know that people will go without food in order to fund their energy needs. They know it. David Cameron’s reaction was to wave the white flag, encouraging ‘consumers’ to go out and shop for a better deal, knowing full well that SSE had already announced price rises and that the rest of the cartel will follow suit within weeks, if not days.

£123, the average extra cost to British Gas customers, over the course of a year may not sound a lot but if you’re already scraping the bottom of the barrel, it makes the bottom of that barrel seem a heck of a lot further away. But at least they ‘understand’. So British Gas customers can sleep well, warm and fuzzy tonight. But from the 23rd November, their sleep may be a little less warm.

And on the subject of the Politics of Energy, George Osborne announced today that China will be funding a new wave of Nuclear Power Stations in Britain. Apart from the fact it’s Nuclear, this may sound like fantastic news. Foreign rich people investing in Great Britain can never be a bad thing, right? Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. We already have quite the cartel in the energy market, wildly profiteering at the expense of those less well off, but now China will be pouring it’s money, and political muscle, into this already poisonous mix.

Sure, there may be jobs created and a little bit extra wealth created and maybe a boost to ‘wavering’ energy suppliers (I don’t buy this for a millisecond), but look at the cost. We’ll have potentially dangerous, unsafe, ‘terror target’ Nuclear reactors that nobody knows how to dispose of after use combined with a foreign investor looking to make profit from their venture. Today’s announcement means that the future for the energy sector is bright and lined with money, and all this will be at our expense. Also, I find it outrageously hypocritical and actually disgusting that Osborne practically whored out Britain to China, relaxing visa controls at a time where his party is clamouring for immigration and border controls to be tightened. Makes sense.

A final point then, on strike action. The recent teacher’s strike drew a flurry of frankly pathetic comments from those ‘affected’ by it. The public are really buying into this Tory bullshit whereby any strike action is disappointing and wrong. I don’t know the facts behind the strike at all, and am not terribly interested either but what I do know is that nobody wants to strike. A strike is the last resort for employees against an employer that is being unreasonable and refuses to enter serious negotiations. This isn’t the 70s where unions would strike because the tea was tepid.

Perhaps those complaining about the strikes would do well to learn to live a little. Not everything goes to plan, and when something unexpected happens, react spontaneously and enjoy it. Surely a day away from the mundane reality of the daily grind is a good thing? And consider your fellow human, who has made the decision to strike as a last resort against an unreasonable employer.

Far-Right Extremist Laments Far-Right Extremist Group Being Too Far Right & Extreme

October 8, 2013 at 7:53 pm

Tommy Robinson today announced that he’s quitting the English Defence League as he wants to “Counter Islamist Ideology” though “Not with violence but with better, democratic ideas.”

Describing Tommy as an enigma is probably being a little generous. Usually enigmatic people are quite deliberately difficult to fathom but Tommy seems to be either accidentally difficult or just internally conflicted. Either way he’s led the increasingly violent, increasingly stupid and increasingly racist EDL for four years now. He’s been given a fair bit more air-time over that period than the genuinely baffling Nick Griffin, and four years later I still can’t quite figure out what his point actually is. Or was.

I do remember watching a documentary about him and Saiful Islam in Luton, and I remember thinking at the time that Tommy probably isn’t as racist, nasty or as anti-Islam as he likes to make out. That in fact it looks as though he and Saiful were the equally dominant and equally opposing forces at the same secondary school and that the two of them don’t genuinely believe what they’re saying. It almost looked like the EDL and Saiful’s little gang of backward followers was just a wild escalation to this playground duel that may well have began with one looking at the other’s girlfriend the wrong way.

He had a bit of a strange interaction with an Asian security guard during that programme, where he called him a ‘Smelly paki’ and told him to ‘go home’. The guard didn’t bite and Tommy just said ‘Nah, I’m only kidding mate, you’re all right.’ And weirdly enough, I saw a small little boy with a desire to be liked, or to be well known or famous. And perhaps that’s why he started the EDL. Maybe he was talking to his mate Kev (Carroll, his deputy leader of the EDL who also quit), talking about fame and they both reached the conclusion that he wasn’t particularly good at anything apart from his innate  ability to start  fights in empty rooms and shout a lot. And thus, the EDL was born.

With every passing pub-crawl or – to use EDL terminology – march, the group seemed to grow in violence and genuine confusion. It would have been fantastic if the various police forces that have had to deal with these drunken farces had kept some stats, as I’m sure they probably hurt more of their own than anyone else. As well as increasing in violence, Tommy himself ventured further away from criticising ‘Political Islam’ as he calls it (not sure what that actually is) and more towards criticising everyday Muslims. I could list a few of his more famous insults aimed in the general direction of Muslims, not extremists, but it’d be too easy.

My thoughts on the move he’s made today aren’t too deep, they’re pretty straightforward actually. His quitting of the leadership of the EDL does not mean that overnight he becomes less violent, more inclusive of Muslims or less Islamophobic. Tomorrow he will wake up the same person with the same ideas floating around in his head. But on the other hand I don’t think we should assume that he’ll never change or that he doesn’t want to.

I still think a lot of the things he’s done and said in the past are deplorable, despicable and in cases outright disgusting, but it isn’t for me or anyone else to judge him as a write-off or a lost cause. At this moment in time it’s probably safe to assume that Tommy probably harbours a strong disliking for Islam and Muslims, and by not at least giving him a chance to repent Muslims will only be proving him right. Of course we don’t need to prove anything to him at all, but if we were take a look at our own Prophet (Salallahu Alayhi Wasalaam) and the trials he faced in his lifetime, we will see for ourselves that he forgave much worse people who committed much more oppressive, much more disgusting acts than Tommy Robinson ever has.

So while it may look slightly comical that a Far-right extremist has left the far-right extremist group that he himself started up for being too far right and too extreme, we should at least give the man a chance to redeem himself. He might just prove himself to be a good guy after all. On the other hand he might not, but we will be much better off as Muslims if we at least give him that chance.

What Are Whites Doing to Combat White Crime?

October 6, 2013 at 6:14 pm

Wow, some things never change. It doesn’t seem all that long ago that I was writing this. And since then not really a lot’s changed, today the BBC’s Sunday Morning Live show asked the question that seems to be in vogue at the moment: ‘Do Muslims do enough to combat extremism?‘ It’s a ludicrous and infuriating question that actually hints at the possibility that Muslims at worst agree with extremist viewpoints or at best tolerate them. I won’t go over old ground too much, but there isn’t a great deal we can do about it. These extremist types are incredibly aware of the unpopularity and sensitivity of their own viewpoints, so generally only share their thoughts with like-minded individuals.

Also I noticed via this tweet from Mohammad Ansar, a story on the Quilliam Foundation:

 

The article talks about a forthcoming report from the Quilliam Foundation (set up by two ex-extremists interestingly enough) that pretty much decries all ‘mainstream’ Muslim organisations as Extremist apologists. It seems clear that Quilliam is smearing other organisations in an attempt to retain its Government funding, but this little episode does raise a difficult question for News and Television editors: ‘Which Muslims should we invite comment from?’

Unfortunately, it seems the balance at the moment is tipped in favour of those Muslims who think Islam and Muslims should drastically change to meet the demands of the West. Muslims who think that Islam and the West don’t really need wholesale changes to co-exist are largely ignored, how many can you name? On the whole is Islam is poorly represented in the mainstream press, possibly because the opinions of ex-Muslims, ‘Secular’ Muslims or ‘Moderate’ Muslims sell more copy as they are likely to pander to white audiences. I don’t often see ‘Muslim’ Muslims on TV, you know the ordinary Muslim who is interested in clean living, clean earning, worship, family and equality for all. If you do see ‘Muslim’ Muslims on TV, I tend to find it’s either teenagers who, like any teen, are a bit under-developed with their ideas or nervous to be on TV, or it’s nice people like Myriam Francois-Cerrah who seems to get rapturous applause on their rare appearances.

Of course I think representation of Muslims and Islam on the tellybox is more than just a little unfair but that’s nothing new and is highly unlikely to change any time soon. Islamophobia does play a big part in this, but I think we as Muslims must also accept that another aspect of this is the general negativity of Western Media. Negativity sells copy, media outlets are in fierce competition in an increasingly shrinking marketplace so as unfortunate and unfair as it is, Muslims just aren’t going to get much good press (unless we run 5,000m faster than anyone else). That doesn’t mean to say that we should lie down and accept it, we just need to understand that isn’t necessarily all about hatred of Islam.

That hatred does exist though, and it doesn’t always manifest itself in an obvious or direct manner. We only have to look at how often the ‘Do Muslims do enough to…’ question pops up in comparison to the ‘Do Whites do enough to…’. I have never seen any news outlet ever question the efforts of white people, despite the fact that as of June 2013 73.8% of prisoners are white. So 73.8% of all convicted prisoners currently serving are white. That kind of statistic really does beg the question:

What are White People doing to combat this?”

The answer of course is nothing in particular, but why is this question never asked? I’m white, so according to the logic of the BBC and other mainstream outlets, should I be out on the streets campaigning against White Crime? Maybe I could have a little niche of my own and go out campaigning against White Muslim crime, maybe I should cast a judging eye over every white person I see and if they look like they might commit a crime, ask them how they are? After all, it’s my duty as a white person to help combat the ever-increasing scourge of British society: White Crime.

Or maybe it’s my duty as a white person to pressurise minority groups into action over their criminals instead? After all, I pay my taxes and as a result am an asset to society. They don’t and they aren’t. Right?

Red Ed: The Secret Russian Spy

October 1, 2013 at 6:47 pm

Like you, I read the Daily Mail’s wonderfully unbiased and thoroughly researched report in to Ed Miliband’s father. It’s only right that the British people are made aware that the father of the leader of the opposition wrote of his contempt and rage for Britain at the age of just seventeen. Us decent British folk must not be fooled in to voting for a man associated with communism in any way, shape or form. Britain can do better than this, to paraphrase Ed himself.

But I fear that our beloved Daily Mail has let itself down again no doubt because, just like the BBC, it’s being infected by a violently aggressive band of left-wing fanatics. I’m fed up of these left-wing lunatics telling me that I can’t abuse Blacks, Irish or Gays in the street. What kind of Britain do we live in where a good, honest, hard-working man can’t lord it over these ethnics that invade our country looking for benefits and free healthcare? I look at the state of modern Britain, I see the Union Jack flying proudly and I weep for it. I weep for our proud flag at how pitiful we’ve become. I’m sick of hearing about ‘Human Rights’. How we need to go out of our way to accommodate cripples, how we have to grant asylum to these foreigners who lie about how their own government wants to kill them. What we need to do is round them up and slaughter them.

But I digress. What I really wanted to tell you is that I discovered evidence on my favourite online forum ‘White Britannia’, that the leader of the opposition is actually a Russian spy working that crazy vodka-drinking, tiger-hunting Putin. Yes, apparently Ed’s cousin 201 times removed, Ivan, was born in Leningrad. While young Ed was at university smoking weed and protesting against capitalism like all these stupid lefties do, he was writing to Ivan telling him how horrid Britain is and how he’d like to fulfil his father’s dream of destroying Britain. Ivan told Ed that he was fairly high up in the KGB and that he’d speak to his superiors.

Ed mysteriously booked a flight to Cuba where he met Fidel Castro’s son to begin talks with Russia, China, Cuba, Vietnam Osama bin Laden and Adolf Hitler’s secret love-child with the aim of concocting a plan to destroy the western world as we know it. The plan was for Ed to ingratiate himself with the Trade Unions and work his way up through the ranks of the notoriously Commie-friendly and anti-human Labour Party as a sleeper agent. The key sign for Ed to put the plan into motion was to be a large bombing on US soil. He would then begin to swiftly progress up through the ranks, recruiting other communist sympathisers along the way, and eventually take over as leader of the Labour Party.

Once there, his mission is to murder the entire Conservative Party, feed their remains to his bloodthirsty commie pals and defeat Nick Clegg’s Liberal Democrats in the election. Once in power, Ed will demolish the symbolic centres of capitalism in London with help from Osama bin Laden (who has lived in Ed’s basement since 9/11) and enforce a tyrannical regime of communism, marxism and equality. In this twisted new world, Irish, Blacks, Gays and even women will all have equal rights. Foreign people will migrate from all over the globe and enslave the white man, we’ll become the minority in our own country and Russian and Mandarin will become our official languages.

To add insult to injury, Ed will then announce that he has converted to Islam and enforce Sharia law onto the native British people. This will be the springboard for Islamic Global Domination and Russia, China, Cuba, Vietnam, Venezuela, Iran and Iraq will join forces to wipe poor defenceless Israel off the map, giving the land to the invented peoples of Palestine. Once Israel is obliterated, they will focus their attention on the USA, and force her into their submission. They will force all of the American people to convert to Islam and free all the crooked Black prisoners from death row.

And if you think that’s all bad, I haven’t even mentioned that they’ll cancel Wimbledon; ban beer, bacon and Christmas.

A Party Political Broadcast

September 30, 2013 at 6:42 pm

How many people turned out in protest against Tory Policy on the NHS in Manchester at the weekend? Well, if you live outside Manchester you’d probably find that the BBC weren’t exactly forthcoming with their coverage of the protest. The number was in the region of 50,000, and goes a little way towards explaining why the Tories have erected an 8 foot metal fence around the entire conference zone. One suspects the real reason is actually that they just wanted to be kept apart from the riff-raff. I mean, how is one supposed to sup one’s £250 a bottle champagne in peace if Bob the binman can wander on by just yards away without some kind of barrier to keep him out of ones line of sight?

So the BBC’s coverage of the event can be found if you navigate from the main ‘News’ page, to ‘England’ and then ‘Manchester’. Unless you live in Manchester, it wasn’t on their home page and couldn’t be found on the News home page on the day, or today. In fact, in the Manchester section today it’s the fourth story. At best this level of coverage of a major protest against an unpopular government who aren’t just making ‘difficult’ decisions, they’re making outright evil ones, is pitiful. At worst the BBC could easily be accused of joining the illustrious ranks of the foreign ‘State-run News Networks’ the Beeb so often takes delight in mocking.

The BBC has clearly decided to offer up its support to David Cameron for Election 2015 and it’s barely even hiding it. If it is attempting to conceal its treachery then it’s doing a pretty bad job of it. But let it not be said that the BBC is bad at hiding things, it hid the Jimmy Saviles and Stuart Halls of this world for 3 or 4 decades and to show us that this was no fluke and that it hasn’t lost it’s touch, it’s currently hiding the Conservative Dismantling of the NHS. If your news horizons don’t expand beyond the BBC or other Mainstream networks, you might say: ‘What dismantling of the NHS?’

In which case my response can only ever be: ‘Precisely’. Not only is the BBC actively hiding the destruction of the lifeblood of Britain, something that is so undeniably and unquestionably quintessentially British, free healthcare that is, it is actually aiding and abetting in the propaganda war the Conservatives have launched to ensure that when you do find out what’s been going on, instead of rising up in pure rage, you merely conclude: ‘Well, look at the recent failures. Probably better off in private hands.’

The BBC has been only too willing to eat up every single piece of negative news being fed to it by its Tory paymasters. Don’t get me wrong, there’s an awful lot wrong with the NHS. Too many managers, not enough beds, not enough nurses, not enough Doctors, debt-riddled hospitals, hidden scandals and so on and so on, but selling it off to profit-making organisations with shareholders leads only one way. It leads to the American system of healthcare. It leads to a two-tiered system, where those who can afford healthcare, get healthcare. Where those not in employment cannot get access to basic healthcare. It leads to a further expansion of the gap between rich and poor, and exacerbates the effect this has by commodifying a basic human right, the right to healthcare.

If the NHS truly is failing, it’s failing because every 5 years politicians make a raft of unsustainable, unattainable, inappropriate, self-serving promises to ‘change’ the NHS, to reform it, bring greater efficiency, reduce queues and costs all at the same time. Each party brings with it their own ideas, ideas that generally lack some kind of consultation process with the people that work on the front-line, day after day. These are the people who know what the real issues are, who know where the real savings can be made and where the service provided can be vastly improved.

And in all this, the BBC willingly assists the Nasty Party. Long ago the BBC reached the point of ‘Mouthpiece’ for this government. Long ago it stopped challenging its policies and long ago it lost the little credibility it once had. Perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised, after all this is the same organisation that has a long history of firing females as they pass the ‘acceptable’ age yet retain ever grumpier males long past their sell by date. This is the same organisation that in its desperation to remain as unbiased as possible, flows along with ‘public’ opinion, with government agenda. Instead of challenging public perceptions and opening itself up to calls of bias, it follows public perceptions instead and actually is biased. This is the same organisation that refused to air a charity appeal for the people of Gaza when Israel launched a vicious attack on it.

In conclusion, don’t trust the BBC. It doesn’t act in your interests. It acts in its own, which is to protect and to serve the government of today. This Dickensian Government that seeks to demonise the poor and further enrich the rich.

Tony Blair: White Saviour

September 25, 2013 at 6:30 pm

Remember that film – Being John Malkovich? I think there’s opportunity for a sequel of sorts there, we’ll call it ‘Being Tony Blair’. The storyline will centre around a young man desperate for answers to pivotal questions such as:

  • How does it feel to be right all the time, and to be surrounded by people who are so wrong all the time?
  • What does a peace envoy actually do?
  • How does Tony sleep at night?
  • What does Tony say in his confessions at church?
  • Did Tony know that there were no WMDs in Iraq?
  • Does Tony feel even a tiny single shred of regret at the deaths of a million Iraqis?

Actually, we probably know all the answers to those questions and the film only would serve as just another Tony Blair vanity exercise. He’d probably masturbate himself to sleep at the thought of his face appearing on billboards all over the world, he’d revel in the fact that an accomplished method actor would should choose to play him, and as such indulge him in his tales of politicking and war-criming etc.

So no, I won’t be pushing that project any further. But I will write about him. And as I do, I feel like the aura of slime that follows him everywhere has detected this and is now making it’s way towards me, ready to infiltrate my brain and remove those nasty images of Tony authorising the UK to bomb the f*ck out of Iraq  and replace them with images of him running gaily through a meadow with happy Iraqi children throwing flower petals through the air.

Well Tony, understated, quiet little Tony was in the Guardian today reminding us yet again of how he knows everything and we know nothing especially when it comes to the Middle East or, as Tony calls it, Israel. Today he was talking about Bashar al Assad, who the papers have been telling us for ages definitely used Chemical Weapons on civilians in August and is therefore a War Criminal. Understated, quiet little Tony was telling us that we should not let Assad off the hook if he doesn’t give all of his Chemical Weapons to the US (who have never, ever used Chemical Weapons).

What Tony also told us, and if you have some kind of beverage in your mouth please swallow fully before reading on, is that the UN Resolution is absolutely vital. If he breaches the UN Resolution, we have to ‘enforce the will of the International Community’. Yes you did read correct. Tony said that the UN Resolution was vital. Just like the one that the US and the UK obtained allowing them to go to war with Iraq. What number was it again?

Unsurprisingly Tony said that if he were Prime Minister today, he would have pushed very hard to be with America as an ally before going on to add ‘It’s the results that count. I’m not particularly concerned if we do it elegantly or inelegantly.’ I can only speculate as to what that actually means, but it certainly does not sound good. And I think that’s what angers me so much about Tony, it’s not just the illegal war that killed over a million Iraqis based on a Lie of Mass Destruction, or the repeated refusals to accept any blame, or the fact that the allies used Chemical weapons without punishment in Fallujah, or the fact that he has gone on to be a Peace Envoy in the Middle East. No, that all contributes massively, but what really angers me is the ‘White Saviour’ mentality he displays. He actually believes that the Western way is the best way and is seemingly prepared use any excuse to enforce that militarily or at least under-handedly.

This breed of ‘White Saviour’ to me doesn’t seem to be a million miles away from the desires of a fanatacist. He stubbornly believes that the Western way of life is perfect, that everything we do is right, that everyone different is wrong, that ‘we’ must do all we can to convince them of that and if we can’t? Bomb the fuck out of them. The only difference between Tony and the infamous fascists of the past is his public persona. In public Tony is unflappable, calm, cool, collected,scripted, speaks in a middle class English accent and rarely ever displays any negative forms of emotion whereas the fascist figures of the past are depicted as much more fiery, angry, heated, ranty, spontaneous, spoke with a foreign accent and were more likely to show their emotion.

This is how he manages to get away with it. I just hope the people of Britain aren’t taken in by his bullshit.

When Turkeys Vote For Christmas

September 24, 2013 at 7:47 pm

I’ve not been able to catch a great deal of the Labour Conference this weekend, mostly because I don’t really have any affection for these events whatsoever. It’s an annual get together for people of more or less the same political persuasion, where the leader or key ministers make faux-impassioned speeches written by somebody else. I did however manage to catch just a bit of Ed Miliband’s ‘Britain Can Do Better Than This’ speech, and I have to agree with him. Britain can do better than this. Whilst I agree with his new tagline, I probably won’t really agree with everything beneath it.

Having said that, I think Ed is actually heading in the right direction. Even if I don’t like his style, there does seem to be at least a bit of substance to his words. He has made some promising promises if you will, about defending the NHS, repealing the bedroom tax and now freezing energy prices. I don’t think he goes far enough if I’m being brutal, but I can understand why he doesn’t. If he goes too ‘radical’ too soon, he’ll be obliterated in the press and we’ll end up with a Balls vs Cameron election. So yes, he doesn’t go as far as I’d like but does seem to be showing that he is far more in touch with common people than Cameron. In recent polls energy prices haven’t been considered as a key factor at all, but that’s probably because it’s still summer-ish and the big energy companies have largely been out of the news for a while.

But as winter draws ever nearer, Miliband’s promise to freeze energy prices will suddenly seem far more appealing. Perhaps I’m in a minority here, but I’d rather Ed campaigned on issues that actually make a positive difference to individuals and the nation as a whole like stopping NHS privatisation, repealing a crippling ‘tax’ and making energy just a little less unaffordable than for him to campaign on an anti-immigration ticket. If he wants to show strength, he’ll tackle the real issues and confront the false issues that Cameron’s (admittedly capable) spin-machine has created. If he wants to be a genuine alternative to this draconian government full of privileged multi-millionaires instead of tackling issues that might make the people angry (rightly or wrongly) he’ll tackle the issues that cause people to struggle. The jury is still out on that one, but he appears to be headed in the right direction. I still feel that May 2015 will be about the lesser of two evils, I’m not even considering the Lib Dems as a potential candidate, and I actually feel that Cameron may win. It’s like the Mark Twain quote:

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”

If Ed decides that tackling Cameron’s false issues is the best strategy for victory, he will be soundly beaten. Why? Because Cameron’s cronies invented them.

So going back just a little bit then to the energy price freeze, I noticed on the BBC website they had ‘Miliband Promises Energy Price Freeze’ as the heading for their story with the ever-so-comical sub-heading: ‘But Energy Firms Criticise the Plan’. If ever there was a ‘No Shit Sherlock’ moment, that was it. Can you imagine the conversation between the Journalist and the Spokesman?

Journalist: So Ed Miliband is promising to freeze energy prices for 20 months if he wins the election, what do you think about that?

Spokesman: Oh yes it’s great news. I mean, it will hit our profits, our shareholders will be unhappy and actually our share prices will also drop but apart from that it sounds great.

What the energy firms have actually said is a whole load of guff that shows that privatisation of such a basic need as gas and electricity was a truly awful idea. The retaliation was: ‘the policy could lead to power shortages, and jeopardise investment and jobs.’ Three things that Britons don’t really want to hear at the moment. Power shortages?? Job Losses?? No investment (ok well probably not immediately bothered by that) but the energy firms have indulged in a little bit of fear-mongering in an attempt to derail Ed’s plan. It will be interesting to monitor Ed’s stance on this leading up to the election, particularly as you can almost cast-iron guarantee that these energy firms will donate funds to the Conservatives in return for a promise of no such freeze.

Politicking and corruptive practices aside, the big firms that play host to profiteering exercises in Britain can donate to whoever the hell they like. At the end of the day, it is the general public who turn up at the ballot boxes and place their votes. It is our responsibility to ask ourselves two questions:

  1. Which party will make my life better?
  2. Will others need to suffer in order for that to happen?

If you genuinely think that having less people of colour in Britain (which is what Immigration is really about) is far more important than affordable gas, electricity, free healthcare, free schools and a fair society for all then I think you might need to evaluate your life. And if you think that privatisation of the NHS is a good idea, have a look at how much you pay for Gas, Water and Electricity currently. Have a look at the profits these companies make, and the amount of money they invest into greener, more sustainable energy sources. You may point to fracking potentially bringing in £billions into Britain, but realistically that isn’t going to make a blind bit of difference to you or I. We’ll see no savings, no investment and another surge in Energy firms’ profits.

So the Energy Firms quite obviously don’t like Ed’s policy, just as Turkeys quite obviously don’t like Christmas. Though you can at least have a little bit of sympathy for the Turkeys.

 

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